It's June!

I do have to admit that May flew by with gusto!  It was the busiest time of the year for me at the Symphony as we prepared for our annual Contributor's Concert and Celebration at the Station that were both in the same week.  Whew!  I may have only been here for 3 1/2 months, but it sure feels like longer some days.  Both events went very well and I'm excited to settle in for the summer with those under my belt.

Fireworks over Liberty Memorial at the KC Symphony's Celebration at the Station

We've also been doing our best to enjoy the weather as it is finally staying warm.  It went back and forth for so long that my body and our flowers were highly confused.  Of course, one of our favorite summer pastimes is in full swing and we've already made several trips over to watch the boys in blue.  Brandon got us some wonderful tickets through his office and we're planning to enjoy them with our friends Eric and Jen this summer.  I picked the games with $1 hot dogs and fireworks of course (I'm such a die-hard fan!)

Go Royals!!!

Brandon borrowed the pink glove from the little girl behind us to defend us all
from foul balls.  Look at that determination!

Brandon and I have also been adding more finishing touches to the baby's room.  I've almost got all of the sewing done (I had to take a break to make a bridesmaid's dress for a friend) and I also found this gigantic cuddly friend to add to the decor.  We'll see if it's fun or terrifying for the little tyke!

So far our favorite name suggestion is General Sterling Price - what's yours?

If you are friends with Brandon on Facebook, you may have heard that we had a rough weekend last weekend in the adoption department.  I wasn't sure whether I even wanted to mention this here, but because this is our way to share this journey, I decided I wanted to share it.  Late on Saturday evening I picked up a voicemail message from the birthfather that indicated we needed to talk because they were having second thoughts.  Unfortunately, it was too late to return the call and so we had to spend a sad and sleepless night/morning before we could find out what was happening.  There were so many thoughts that went through our minds, but I think that the biggest realization was that neither of us was angry that these people we have come to know would be having second thoughts.  Wouldn't we?  Of course, we were frightened and sad at the potential for losing this child, but we have prepared ourselves for the reality that it could happen at any time. 

As it turns out, I was able to talk with them the next day and the message was left in an emotional moment after a difficult day and he apologized for his actions.  Everything was still going to happen as planned, and he was sorry.  Thank you Lord!  On this day, we are still moving forward.  Brandon and I are still a bit shell-shocked and hurt, but also immensely grateful.  For myself, I realized that the pain and grief I was feeling on Saturday night was more for the loss of "normal" than anything else.  I was angry that I couldn't buy a giant bear and baby clothes and not feel silly for doing it.  I was sad that while a pregnant couple would be having baby showers, we were trying to figure out what essentials to buy to bring our baby home without wanting to have so many things that would be painful reminders if it turns out that we don't.  Any celebration or hope is laced with a bit of hesitation and sadness and it's this that I'm still trying to come to terms with.  I know that eventually, once our child is with us, those things will be covered over with joy.  But for now, I'm going to allow myself to cry a bit over those losses.

On a final happy note, D told me that she had a 3D sonogram at her last doctor's appointment.  He has hair!  :)  Love to you all!