We're expecting!

Yes, you read that title right.  Brandon and I are now what some might call "paper pregnant"!

We were contacted by a dear friend on the afternoon of April 8th about a birthfamily who was looking for adoptive parents for their child.  We were actually visiting a maternity home in Wichita when we received the message, and spent nearly the entire trip home on the phone.  First we talked to the friend of my friend's mother, then I called one of our adoption group friends; then we talked to the friend's mother's friend's cousin (the baby's grandmother); then I called our lawyer and another adoption group friend; then while I was on the phone the birthparents called and after talking with our lawyer we called them back.  We had a pleasant and brief conversation and set up a time to meet them the next day.

Since then it's been this strange mix of excitement and fear for us.  We've met and talked with them several times and they have met with our lawyer and started some of the necessary paperwork.  The most important thing for us now is that we all get to know each other, so that we all feel comfortable in the decisions we will make moving forward.  This is especially important because nothing is final until 12 hours after she has given birth and they sign the papers that tranfer parental rights to Brandon and I.  Please pray for all of us!

Brandon and I realized that there is not really anything we can compare this experience to.  It's somewhat as if we are pregnant, but have a much shorter time to prepare and no certainty that there may be a baby in our arms at the end of it all.  We want to allow ourselves to be hopeful and to prepare our hearts, but it is very difficult when you feel such an instinctual need to guard them at the same time.  So for now, we're doing the things needed to prepare our home.  We finally got a mattress for the crib and started looking at strollers and car seats.  Fortunately, the nursery was already painted some time ago.  I'm glad we took it a little at a time.

If God has chosen this child for us, we will be parents of a beautiful baby boy in a little over two months!  If you are hearing this news here for the first time, please don't be offended.  We've found it's somewhat difficult to start a "we're pregnant" conversation when we physically aren't and there is still so much uncertainty.  We have been so blessed by the outpouring of support and love from our friends and family.  Thanks to each of you for standing by us as we've walked this journey.  Perhaps we might find the end of the path just over that horizon.

With love,
Janell